Marriage guru John Gottman, who has been studying how couples interact for 40 years at the Gottman Institute, published an op-ed in The Washington Post detailing five myths about marriage. Much of what he and his colleagues have discovered mirrors my clinical experience, which, though not strictly scientific, has shown validity and consistency through the years. But there is no one model for a successful marriage and couples find all kinds of ways of living happily together. In fact, some of Gottman’s findings are surprising because they run counter to popular wisdom. His list includes:

MYTH NO. 1 — Common interests keep you together.

As a billion dollar industry, internet dating is based on this idea. Many sites ask you questions (sometimes hundreds of them) and computer algorithms help select potential mates based on this…

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